In case you can't tell from previous posts, my Talker provides hours and hours of entertainment. For one, she loves holidays and can't quite seem to grasp that once Christmas has occurred, it won't be back for twelve more months. In her mind, Christmas is always just around the corner. There is one thing in particular that still makes me laugh even though she does it every single day. Each morning, after attendance, we sing and (attempt to) sign the alphabet, and she does a pretty good job until we hit a certain point.

"The Alphabet Song"

arranged by: My Talker

"A-B-C-D-E-F-G,

H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P,

Q-R-S-T-

U-Better watch out,

You better watch out,

Santa Clause is coming

TO TOWN!!!

Although my kids are not typically developing, they are typical adolescents.  It's so funny to watch them do something really awkward and dorky*and think, "I know exactly what they're doing because I did something just like that during my awkward years."  The list would be endless if I named all of the ridiculous things I did between the ages of 11 and 16 (ie. practically maiming a boy by kicking him shin because I considered it flirting, having to get my glasses adjusted every time I played basketball or volleyball in PE because I would get hit me in the face, drawing hearts on my crush's history worksheets as I graded them, etc.), so I'll just tell you some of the nerdy things the kids at school do:

• Our school's thug was walking laps around the gym as I was going to lunch one day.  When he saw me, he began to take off his shirt.  When I asked why he was taking his shirt off, he fanned himself and replied with, "I hot.  I lift weights."  That's funny.  I think the real reason was that he was walking because he was in trouble and was hot from all of those laps.  My response: "Put your shirt back on."
• I think my Talker likes my Autistic Mess (who we'll call "C"), probably because he's the only guy in the room.  On several occasions I've heard, "I ask step-mom.  C go home with me.  He chase me" (being chased is the epitome of fun for her).
• I took my cardigan off and placed it on the chair at my desk because I was hot.  As I was working with a student, I glanced out of the corner of my eye and saw another student wearing something I didn't think I'd seen her in earlier.  It was my cardigan.  She was sitting proudly, and pointing to it for the other kids to see.

Everyone has one.  Looking back, what was the peak of your awkward phase?

*Mind you, I'm not referring to any disability being awkward or dorky-just the ridiculous things they do in pursuit of coolness.

Back To Work

After sitting around looking like this for 6 weeks, I decided it was time to go back to work.

The kids were quite excited to see me (although I think my sub was even more so).  You know you are missed when you get hugged, scratched and bitten upon your return.  One particular student was so enthusiastic that she greeted me with inappropriate hip gyrations.

Aahhh....It's good to be back.

Not because you look good or anything...

Unfortunately, there is nothing resembling a coffee shop in good old H'ville.  So when the rainy day urged me to get a cup of joe to go along with my homework, I headed to McDonald's. I mentally counted my change wondering if I had the $1.03 for a small so I wouldn't have to use my debit card and walked to the counter.  The following interaction took place:

Man Behind Counter (MBC):  What can I get for you today?

Me: I'd like a small coffee with three creams and one Splenda please.

MBC:  Alright, that'll be $.52.

Me:  That's it?

MBC:  Yep.  I gave you the senior discount.  

(I must have looked confused) 

 

MBC:  Not because you look good or anything.

Me: Thanks?

(In his defense, I think he meant to say old instead of good, but then again, I don't think I'd brushed my hair-haha.)

Coins, Colons, and Other Crazy Things

I like ridiculously big purses.  In fact, I take large bags and turn them into purses.  Being able to carry everything but the kitchen sink satisfies the hoarder in me, I suppose.  Here is what I've been carrying the last few months:

Last night I was trying to find stamps in my purse. In something so big, there must be stamps, right?  Well, wrong.  I didn't find stamps, but I did find $.50 and some other things I didn't realize I carried everyday.

Here are a few:

• A sixteen pack of Crayolas left over from the inclusion days.  Somewhere along the line I lost the Bratz coloring book that went along with them.
• Enough gum to bribe my Talker until the end of the school year-at least 10 packs.
• My cookie scoop
• My old school Ipod Shuffle
• A $4 Lady Speed Stick purchased at a gas station last summer.  After one very unfortunate incident in middle school, I'm very paranoid when it comes to my pits.

And now for the strangest thing ::drum roll please::

• 6 glossy, color photos of my healthy colon

What's the strangest thing in your purse?

Perhaps I Should Reconsider My Career Choice

11 Special-Ed Students Plotted To Kill Third-Grade Teacher

(I realize that this headline doesn't match the video and that the video doesn't mention special ed, so I'm probably perpetuating a rumor.)